


All I Ask

by violetchachkii



Category: Degrassi
Genre: Angst, M/M, Past Relationship(s), This is not a happy fic friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 01:51:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5356457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetchachkii/pseuds/violetchachkii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"They laid there together, crying. Even as they fell into sleep, they didn’t say anything. There was nothing left to be said. "</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Ask

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was completely inspired by the song "All I Ask" by Adele. I encourage you to listen to it and think of Triles.
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes. I finished this at 3 am, but wanted to publish it. Kudos and feedback are appreciated.

The Hollingsworth residence was completely silent for once. It was around two o’clock in the morning and the group of teenagers who were sleeping there had finally settled in for the night. Frankie invited those who had helped her out during the summer to spend a night at her and her brothers’ home for a mini-party. It was one of the last times they were going to get to use the pool before the fall started to take over the heat of the summer.

It wasn’t much of a party in the high school sense. There was no booze or anything of that sort going around. For once, it was just a group of kids being kids. It had been so long since they had all enjoyed themselves like that before. The past year forced them all into situations that teenagers shouldn’t have to deal with. As they swam in the pool and laughed together, they were finally real kids if only for a moment.

Things didn’t wind down until the wee hours of the night. They were all sprawled out around the house, whether it be in one of the bedrooms or just in the living room. Miles appeared to be the last one awake as he tiptoed through the house. All he could hear were his friends’ synchronized breathing. He tried his best not to acknowledge how close Zoe and Grace were on one of the sofas. It was a hard pill to swallow that the girl he was so into dropped him for another girl. Sometimes it felt like he could never win.

He decided to retreat to his bed instead of the area where most of his friends were asleep. He wasn’t trying to be anti-social. It was just that his bed sounded a lot more comfortable than the hard floor he was destined to live with if he stayed downstairs.

The boy navigated through the minefield that was the other inhabitants of the house until he made it to the stairs. He attempted to be as light-footed as possible. The more he tried, the louder his steps sounded. It was a victory when he made it to the landing at the top of the steps. His room was only a few steps away and he padded over to it in his bare feet.

Upon entering his room, he wasn’t expecting to see someone in his bed. It took him a few steps to realize who it was. It was Tristan and he wasn’t asleep. His eyes were open and he looked almost sad. After everything good that had finally happened, how could Tris be sad? Things were finally looking up for them as a group.

“Tris?” Miles whispered and watched as the boy jumped in the bed. He scrambled to sit up. Even in the dark it was obvious that his cheeks were deep red with embarrassment.

“Miles!” he whisper-yelled, standing up from the bed. “I’m sorry. I thought you were going to be sleeping with everyone downstairs…”

Miles nodded and gently closed the door. He didn’t want them to have to whisper too much if they were going to talk. He wasn’t angry at Tristan for sleeping in his bed. They all kind of found their places to sleep. He thought he might have actually seen Maya and Zig in a chaise by the pool. There wasn’t anything inherently strange about Tristan choosing a bed and sleeping in it. The way Tristan was awake in his bed…that was odd.

“It’s good, Tris,” Miles began, putting his hands up to keep the other from freaking out anymore. What could he say about this? He knew for certain that he had no desire to kick him out.

Tristan swallowed hard enough for Miles to see his Adam’s apple bob up and down. The silence between them made Miles skin crawl. Why were things like this? Their friendship had suffered since their break-up. Before they dated, Tristan was one of Miles’ best friends. Now? They could barely stand in a room together without having to search hard for something to say. After all, how could one possibly find words to voice how much he wanted his friend back?

“I’ll go,” Tristan whispered and started to walk towards the door. Miles moved so he was blocking him. This was possibly his one chance to get Tristan alone.

His hands drifted towards the lock of his door and clicked it shut. “Please, stay. You’ll wake up everyone downstairs.”

Tristan nodded in agreement. “Fine. Whatever. Just give me some blankets for the floor then.”

Miles moved towards his closet to look for some of the extra blankets that were folded up inside. As his fingers glided over a comforter, he paused. What was he doing? He needed to talk to Tristan and this was not the way to do it. Instead, he shook his head and closed the closet.

“No,” he said, turning. Tristan looked perplexed and Miles rolled his eyes. He stepped towards the other boy, grabbing his wrist. He sat them both down on the bed while Tristan eyed him with apprehension. A sigh passed from Miles’ lips.

“Tris…” he began. “We need to talk.”

Tristan heaved a frustrated breath. “It’s two in the morning. What could you possibly want to talk about?”

“We never got to talk about…us,” Miles persisted. It sounded so stupid coming out of his mouth. Tristan was right. It was late and neither of them was truly prepared to have this conversation. It was out of the blue and something his mind told him he should just bring up. All of this was so messed up and he wanted to make sense of it all.

The disbelief on Tristan’s face was enough to tell his thoughts. “You want to talk about this? Right now?” he hissed, still trying his best to whisper.

“Can you think of a better time? Obviously neither of us can sleep. C’mon Tris…” Miles tried to persuade him. Tristan looked at the door and then at the clock on the bedside table. Neither of them were asleep and there was nothing else to do. There was also something that was keeping Tristan awake and sent him to search out Miles’ room.

Miles watched as the other pinched the bridge of his nose like he was experiencing a sudden headache. After taking a deep breath, Tristan looked back up at him. “Okay. Let’s talk.”

Another still silence settled between them. They wanted to talk about it all, but the words wouldn’t come. It felt like neither of them ever had the chance to really process their relationship. It was a petty one. But their feelings for each other were real. At least they were in the moment. Nothing would make Miles forget that.

“I’m sorry,” Miles whispered.

It was all he could think to say. He was just so incredibly sorry about how he treated Tristan. He felt that regret whenever he looked at him. His need to self-destruct took over his relationship with one of the only true friends he had. He wanted Tristan back. Not the kisses, or the sweet nothings, but just _Tristan._ One of the best, most genuine friends he’d ever had.

Tristan sniffed and nodded. “I know.”

But he didn’t know. He didn’t know how much Miles wanted that closeness with his friend back. He didn’t know that one of Miles’ biggest regrets was how they left things. He wished he could go back and do it again. Maybe he didn’t love Tristan anymore, but that didn’t mean he didn’t wish their relationship had ended well.

“I loved you, you know,” Miles whispered, placing his hand on top of Tristan’s on the bed. Tristan looked down at them and something short of a winded gasp left his lips.

“I loved you so much, Miles,” he admitted. The way he said it sounded like nothing that had come from Tristan’s lips before. It was so serious with no hint of joke or uncomfortableness. He was so sure that he loved Miles.

They were quiet again. The hum of cicadas outside was the only noise that permeated the sanctity of the room. Miles surprised himself by leaning his head down and resting it on Tristan’s shoulder. It was an intimate gesture that he missed so much. The other boy didn’t flinch or pull away. They were quiet, basking in the feeling that at one point they were actually loved. Someone loved them.

“Please don’t sleep on the floor,” Miles told him. Tristan nodded above him without looking down at him. They sat there for a few more seconds before Tristan moved, standing up from the bed.

Miles stood with him and pushed the covers open. He was the first to crawl under them, getting comfortable. He reached his hand out to Tristan, who hesitated but took it. Tristan joined him on the soft mattress. They shifted in the bed in an attempt to get comfortable with each other again.

They laid side by side when the finished shifting. It wasn’t a comfortable way to sleep with two people in the bed. Miles stared at the ceiling as he tried to think of something else to say. He heard Tristan made that tell-tale sniff beside him.

“I know you don’t love me anymore,” Tristan breathed. They both turned their heads at the same time to look at each other. Tears were brimming the lids of Tristan’s eyelids. A lump took up residence in Miles throat while he watched.

He didn’t know what to say to that. Miles didn’t know who he loved anymore. He loved Maya, then he didn’t. He loved Zoe, then he didn’t. He loved Tristan. All three of them were like a game board spinner in his mind. He just didn’t know who he loved at what moment. At that exact time, he felt like his heart’s arrow was stuck on a line.

Tristan released a loud breath. “But…can I just have tonight? To pretend?”

Miles didn’t understand what he was saying at first. What did he want to pretend? It didn’t take more than a second to understand. He wanted to pretend that they were happy again. Only for one night before school began and they had to put on tough faces again. Who was Miles to deny him that? He had taken so much from Tristan already.

He barely hesitated to wrap his arms around the other boy. Tristan softened considerably in his hold as they changed into a far more comfortable spooning position. Tristan placed his hands on top of the other’s and sighed.

As the minutes passed, Miles felt the way Tristan shook with tears in his arms. He tightened his hold on him in an attempt to comfort him. Despite softening into Miles’ arms, Tristan’s tears didn’t cease.

Miles didn’t realize the wetness on his own cheeks until the salty taste of tears ran over his lips. He sniffed, trying to stop but failing miserably. He held onto Tristan like he was the only life left around him.

They laid there together, crying. Even as they fell into sleep, they didn’t say anything. There was nothing left to be said.


End file.
